Reviving this Space

hi

I suddenly have the feels to start blogging again!!! Realised that there's so much going on in my life rn that I wanna remember, hopefully reviving my blog will help me to achieve that hahaha

goodbye 2018

2018 was honestly half shit, half good - learnt so much but made so many mistakes along the way. It was a year of growth but it was also a year of pain. 

Scotty. 

Saying goodbye to my dog was probably the worst thing that happened to me and it was the worst I felt in 2018. I remember not being able to do anything - had problems sleeping, eating and I ended up losing 2kg within a span of 2 days. I wasn't able to study well and I found myself crying every night before I went to sleep. I even cried in class the next morning. I remember that I had an assignment due the next day and IT WAS SUCH A STRUGGLE. Prior to that, I prayed and I prayed for his recovery. He was constantly limping and he was crying at night because of the immense pain that he felt. Honestly, the 5 months from diagnosis to death were so freaking brutal and I have never ever felt this much pain in my entire 21 years of existence lol. But, through it all, he was so so so brave. I miss you, my little fighter. I know you are in heaven with God now enjoying your unlimited supply of milk bones and beef jerky. I love you, always.

21st.

Organised my first birthday celebration after a good 12 years LOL. Was pretty reluctant to celebrate my 21st initially, but was ultimately convinced by my mum. No regrets though, it was so nice to see the people I care for celebrating this milestone with me!! Thank you all for those who came and even to those who couldn't make it, you all know who you are! I can never be grateful enough :")

Exchange.

Something that will always remind me of how fortunate I am. Went to so many places - Canada, New York, New Orleans, Nashville, Orlando, Boston and so many more. But my favourite out of the lot was my solo trip to Vancouver!!! Caught my first figure skating live event and it was so exciting. Realised I absolutely love travelling on my own - from rushing between flights to meeting new friends from all over the world, this is an experience I will keep for life. Also, thank you UVA for being such an amazing school #wahoowa!

Other things.

Hmmmm I guess I can use this as an avenue to pen out some of my thoughts about *something* that happened hahahaha. I am probably way better-off right now than the whole of that one year lol. I realised that spending so much effort trying to get someone to truly care more for me wasn't worth it - shouldn't all of these come naturally though? I also spent a good deal of my energy trying sooo hard when I was overseas on exchange. Felt like I wasted my time but oh well, you can't do anything about it but to learn haha. All that matters is that right now I feel so liberated and so much happier than I was before so THANK GOD it's over, really lol. 

Anyway if you made it to this paragraph, thanks for reading HAHAHA. May 2019 be a year of self-discovery and growth. But most importantly, may 2019 be a year of growing closer to God :)